A letter for my lost soul

Dear Ashe,

I do hope you realize that you deserve much better.

You don’t have to compromise for a boy who sends one-word replies after you’ve just sent him a very lengthy message asking how he’s been. You don’t have to stare at your phone blankly, waiting for it to ring when he is out with his friends again and has clearly forgotten his promise that he’d call. You don’t have to settle for the way he makes your heart race when he finally remembers you after a week of silence and gets it all broken again as he mindlessly ends the conversation with just three messages exchanged.

Because darling, if he truly cares, he won’t call only when he’s lonely and down after getting an F on his paper again. He won’t ask for you only when things are not going well. You aren’t on his speed dial just because there’s no one else left to talk to. If you truly matter, you won’t be his last resort.

If you truly matter, you will be in his thoughts at 7 in the morning when the world is just starting to wake from its slumber. He will wonder if you had a good night’s sleep. He will ask if nightmares had troubled you from enjoying your dreams. You will be the one he remembers at 2 in the afternoon when the crowd hits the streets. He will ask if you remembered to eat knowing that you tend to skip meals especially when college demands too much of your time. You will be in his thoughts at 11 in the evening when he’s out partying because his friends asked him out and he couldn’t take you with him because you are far away. He’ll remember to call or even text just so you wouldn’t worry. After all, he knows you’ll be waiting for him. But you never text him, because he knows you respect his space, as he does yours.

So, darling, don’t go chasing for a boy who does not know how to show he cares. Don’t fall for words alone. Don’t believe him when he tells you he loves you but his actions show otherwise. Remember, you need not be an option. You need not be the second choice to the person you put first. You deserve the kind of love that makes you feel like you’re on top of the world.

With love,

Your future Paul

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